Mantras of peace and forgiveness

A few years ago, when I needed some serious healing from a relationship that went wrong, a friend of mine gave me a few mantras (probably borrowed/modified from Buddhist traditions). I found them useful and in hopes that it may help some of you out there, I am sharing them here. Substitute "X" with the name of the person (or "I")

1. This mantra should be repeated a) for yourself first; then, move on to b) the person you love, c) neutral person, d) a person you experience problems with and finally e) all living beings:

• May I be filled with loving kindness
• May I be well
• May I be peaceful and at ease
• May I be happy

2. The following forgiveness chant is quite powerful and can evoke strong emotions. Repeat it over and over again. Remember, that the primary goal here is to release a part of you that the other person has and return something of his/hers you are holding onto back to them:

With love and gratitude

I forgive "X" and accept him the way he is.

I ask forgiveness for all my feelings, thoughts and actions in relation to him

He forgives me.

Top 10 things - great yoga class

Back in 2005, I compiled this list of top 10 things that make up a great yoga class in my not-so-humble opinion. I was lucky enough to study with a teacher that inspired me to write this list in the first place. Hope it helps some of you out there currently shopping for a good yoga instructor. Enjoy!

1. Novelty. Trying a new asana or two is always exciting.
2. Sense of humor. I love it when a teacher throws a joke or two in the middle of the class.
3. Adjustments by a teacher. Never knew that my body can go that far!
4. Mixing in some tai chi or showing exercises from other styles of yoga
5. Attention to students. Verbal corrections as well as sensitivity and care.
6. The teacher knows the name of every student in the class.
7. The teacher asks you before the class for physical limitations and conditions you have and gives you appropriate directions during the class.
8. Encouragement. An occasional "great job", "Ok!", "you are doing well" makes me want to do better and keep coming back.
9. Seeing that the teacher is passionate about what he/she teaches
10. A sense of enjoyment throughout the class (coming from both the teacher and the students).

Yoga as a cure for a bad day

What do you do when you have just been hit with bad news or simply have one of those days?Well, you could a) get depressed and feel sorry for yourself or b) get off your cushy behind and do yoga. Doing physical exercises is a great way to lift your spirits and my yoga practice never fails me.

I found that the poses which let my chest expand really elevate my mood. My personal favorites are Parsvottanasana (intense side stretch of the chest), the cobra pose (Bhujangasana), the fish pose (Matsyasana), and the backward bends, such as the wheel (Urdhva Dhanurasana) and the bridge (Setu Bandha Sarvangasana).

So, put that jar of ice cream away and do some yoga!

Something to cheer us up

A friend sent me this wonderful link to a YouTube video today, it reminded me how seriously we sometimes take life. Truly, it takes a Bodhisattva to get us to laugh. But isn't there a Bodhisattva living in each one of us? I hope this video makes your day a little brighter, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jedd2FiZTqM

Bridal & baby showers - why I'd rather not go

I don't like showers. No, not the wet kind of showers. These I actually really enjoy. It is the bridal and baby showers that make me cringe. It is not that I am not happy for the people that are getting married or having babies, it is that I feel that this is to a large degree a money/gift extortion operation. I find myself in a dilemma: if I don't attend the shower, that sends a message that I am not happy for my friend. It is perceived as a negative act and can put a dent on your friendship. If I do, however, I have to deliver a gift or often multiple gifts...

Don't get me wrong, I would be more than happy to send a gift for a wedding or that newly arriving baby. But on my own terms. What bugs me is that it is a culturally accepted, imposed way of collecting money from friends. Not a voluntary one, but semi-mandatory. And then, if it isn't bad enough already, you have to watch the bride or mom-to-be open all of the presents and hear everyone go "Oooh! Aaah! How cute is that?". Now, one may argue that it is appropriate for someone with low income. They need all the help they can get. But I haven't attended a single bridal/baby shower in the last 5 years that where the family I know is really struggling. And frankly, if you care to calculate how much all that nice wrapping and gift bags cost, it will probably come out to be about $100 for 20 guests. This is the money that I would much rather give to charity. My 2 cents worth.

Landlord tales - the broken window

I have one of the greediest landlords on this planet. I recently asked him to fix a window in the bedroom that no longer opens. His response? "The guy who does my windows is dealing with very bad personal problems right now. I have no idea when he will be able to start fixing things again, but I have you on the list". I just had to laugh. This excuse has been added to the list of my favorites.

Hunting Chanterelles

When I was a child, my family and I would go mushroom collecting every summer. The primary objective was to find chanterelles, the most prized, tastiest mushroom in my parents' opinion. Although my family has no mycologists, my parents know names and properties of many mushrooms. They also introduced me to "the golder rule" of mushroom gatherers: never pick a mushroom you don't know or cannot identify with 100% certainty. A single mistake can cost you your liver or worse yet, your life.

The passion for mushroom harvesting stayed with me throughout adulthood.

However, knowing how to identify a few species does not make me an experienced collector, so I decided to take a course. After taking "fun with fungi" course last year, my mushroom horizon expanded.

I got to collect and eat a variety of highly prized shrooms. Some had fantastic taste, like this "chicken mushroom" or the beautiful late oyster, but in my humble opinion, none still beat chanterelles.

This summer, my husband and I have discovered a couple of fruitful chanterelle patches in the neighboring states of New Hampshire and Maine. In the months of July and August, we were excited to have collected a few dinners' worth of them. As a bonus, we also picked blueberries and wild strawberries along the way. A delightful way to spend your weekend!

On the bike again

Three months ago, as a result of an object getting stuck between the front wheel of my bicycle and its frame, I was thrown onto concrete road and broke my jaw. It was the first (and I hope the last) time I got to see the inside of an ambulance car. I also chiped my front tooth and the doctors had to stitch me up (7 stitches on my face and 2 on my hand). I spent 3 days in a hospital and 2 months recovering from my injuries. My mouth was wired shut for 3 weeks and I could not chew for 5 weeks. It was the hardest thing I ever had to endure in my life. I am not a complainer and the physical piece did not bother me much. However, the emotional aspect took a real toll and I felt isolated and undignified, unable to eat, talk or show my bruised face in public.

I am happy to report that today was the first day I got back on my bike. Although I was a bit uneasy at first, it feels good to do something I love again. It was a small victory for me. The healing stage is now complete.

Pre-interview take home exam - right or wrong?

Fellow software engineers: have any of you had to write a do-it-in-your-own-unpaid-free-time "programming challenges" that should only take a day or two? Well, neither have I until it came time for me to look for another job. Apparently, it is the new hot thing to do nowadays. Companies are asking for candidates applying to engineering jobs to complete a programming test BEFORE asking them to come in for an in-person interview. You might think, oh, what's the big deal? So, you spend 1 or 2 days writing a test, but then the company really knows how good you are and sure enough, they will want to hire you after they look at your beautifully designed and elegant code! Right? Sadly, my dear hopeful job-seeker friends, not so, not so at all. I have two stories to offer:

Case 1. About a month ago, company X, that shall remain unnamed, contacted me through my agent. They wanted to have a phone interview. According to my agent, the position I applied for has been open for 4 months or longer. Supposedly, company X has been dissatisfied with the quality of candidates. I am not a big fan of phone interviews, but it saves everyone time, so I agreed. I spoke to a very pleasant VP of engineering. At the end of the phone interview, she informed me that the next step in the interview process is for me to complete a programming challenge, which should ONLY take about a day or two. The challenge, for those of you that know my field, was to write a ticketing server, a client/server program that must work on two operating systems, Windows and Linux. But that is not all - I was also to read a very technical 12-page paper published by researchers from 4 different universities to be discussed during in-person interview (if there was to be any).

I liked what the job had to offer and decide to do the programming challenge. I spent solid 2 days working on it - the two days that I could have spent applying to other companies or interviewing elsewhere. It was by no means a trivial task, but I finished it in time. I spent another good 4 hours thoroughly reading the 12 page paper and was brought in for an interview. It is just so happened that one of the people interviewing me was intimidating the hell out of me, so after supplying the correct answer to his question and seeing a surprised look on his face, I gave other possible (albeit not as efficient solutions) to the problem he gave me. The next day, I was told by my agent that I wasn't as strong in the area company X wanted strength in and they were to continue interviewing other candidates. They would then choose between me and the three other people. A month later, I heard that the company did not hire anyone, but transferred an internal candidate to this position instead. By that time, they must have interviewed at least 2 dozen people if not more. It is hard to believe that not a single one would be worthy of working at company X.

Case 2. I applied online to company Y. In response, I received another request to compete a programming challenge, which once again, should only take me a day to complete. The request came from someone at HR. I emailed her back saying that I would at the very least like to speak to the hiring manager on the phone first. I explained that I want to make sure that my background and skills were a match. Not surprisingly, I never heard back. What would be the chances that my programming assignment would never make it to the hiring manager? I think very high.

What did I take away from these two experiences? It is very likely that company X used different people to do different pieces of the code and then had an internal candidate put them all together. Clever, isn't it? Against the law, I bet, but how can I prove it? Besides, company X can argue that I did this entirely voluntarily.

Now, let's take a step back and suppose company X decided to hire me. Would I have accepted? It is a tough one - maybe, but maybe not. I need a job, but I also want to work for a company that treats their employees in a cordial, corteous manner. Sure, the companies need to weed out unqualified candidates, but making someone slave for a few days is not a reasonable practice. I think giving a candidate one hour test during an in-person interview is a much better way to tell how good he or she is. It also doesn't breed any resentment or a feeling of not being treated justly.

Recycling lessons from Africa

I recently traveled to the far side of the Earth, mainly Tanzania, Africa. I have never been to this part of the world before and was pleasantly surprised by many things. One of them was the amazing reuse-recycle principles that most Africans seem to follow. With limited resources, you would, too.

Have you ever seen shoes made from tires? Well, neither had I up until my visit, but in Africa they are very common, worn mostly by Masai men. Take a look at this picture, not the best resolution, I know, but you can still see custom-made fashionable flip-flop style tire shoes.

I was also amazed to see a musical instrument in a church in a rural village. It consisted of a small wooden block with a large nail hammered in it and a whole bunch of old-fashioned metal soda caps strung up on the nail. This instrument made a beautiful rattling sound when shaken.

Riding on the local bus (dhala-dhala), I noticed that the paper tickets were very small and flipping them over, I noticed that they were printed on blank, clearly no longer needed, medical intake forms. What a nice idea!

And finally, I bought a mango tree to be planted in Tanzania. The tiny tree was sold to me in a recycled water bottle with a cut off top.

Lessons learned? Next time I am contemplating tossing that empty aluminum tea can, I stop to think if there is a mango tree I can plant in it.