Bridal & baby showers - why I'd rather not go

I don't like showers. No, not the wet kind of showers. These I actually really enjoy. It is the bridal and baby showers that make me cringe. It is not that I am not happy for the people that are getting married or having babies, it is that I feel that this is to a large degree a money/gift extortion operation. I find myself in a dilemma: if I don't attend the shower, that sends a message that I am not happy for my friend. It is perceived as a negative act and can put a dent on your friendship. If I do, however, I have to deliver a gift or often multiple gifts...

Don't get me wrong, I would be more than happy to send a gift for a wedding or that newly arriving baby. But on my own terms. What bugs me is that it is a culturally accepted, imposed way of collecting money from friends. Not a voluntary one, but semi-mandatory. And then, if it isn't bad enough already, you have to watch the bride or mom-to-be open all of the presents and hear everyone go "Oooh! Aaah! How cute is that?". Now, one may argue that it is appropriate for someone with low income. They need all the help they can get. But I haven't attended a single bridal/baby shower in the last 5 years that where the family I know is really struggling. And frankly, if you care to calculate how much all that nice wrapping and gift bags cost, it will probably come out to be about $100 for 20 guests. This is the money that I would much rather give to charity. My 2 cents worth.